The Myth of the Perfect Family

and why one will never exist

The perfect family. Today or thirty years ago, it doesn’t matter. They are pretty much the same.

Thirty years ago, they lived across the street. The had a perfectly coiffed front yard. They drove a perfect four door family-sized sedan. Their dog was a perfectly groomed well-behaved purebred. The Wife – beautiful, cheery, positive, an attentive mom, and a great cook. The Husband –  a pillar in the community, strong build, gentle hands, an always clean shaven face, and a confidence that was unmatched. The children – always clean, smartly dressed, honor students. The boy an athlete, the girl a cheerleader. Ah, yes, the perfect family of 1985.

Today, they don’t live across the street, but are plastered all over your Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter feeds. So, what are they posting today? Of course, the perfect pics from their perfect family vacation this summer. Yes, they went to Disney in Florida AND spent time in the Caribbean. They couldn’t choose which to do so they did both. Mom is busy this Friday at her “Me Time” painting group and Dad is closing the deal in Beijing for his Fortune 500 company. But that is not all, son was chosen captain of the football team and daughter is stressed as she has to choose between the Ivy League and Stanford next fall. Don’t forget the adorable pics of the stray puppy they just adopted from the no-kill shelter last week. Ah, yes, the perfect family of 2015.

Perfect tans, perfect BMIs. Everything in its perfect place and everyone with perfect recently whitened smiles on their perfect #nofilter faces. Jealous? Of course. Aren’t you? Deep down we all share the desire to live a life that is envied by all. Who wouldn’t want to look, be, smell perfect?

One of the downsides of social media is it gives us the opportunity to display a much more positive portrayal of ourselves than what is actually the truth. It is much easier to appear perfect after we edit, re-edit, touch up, filter, and Photoshop ourselves until we are ready to post on the social media timeline of choice.

But what if we were to peel back the layers of facade and perceived perfection? What if we were to see the hearts and true lives of those perfect individuals and families we envy everyday? What if we were to honestly and sincerely peer into our own cavernous hearts? What would we see? What would be exposed to the light if we could see the truth?

Imperfection. Loads and loads of raw imperfection. Beneath those great Instagram photos and behind the endless selfies are real live individuals and families struggling to make today better than yesterday. Real people that are dissatisfied with now and are hoping for a greater tomorrow.

Imperfect people. Imperfect families. Every one.

No one leads a perfect life. No one is perfect. Not the picture perfect celebrity with a gazillion followers. Not the friend with a gazillion posts on Facebook.

I have a challenge for you and your family.

Stop. Stop trying to be perfect. Instead of pinning the pic of that cheesily awesome bacon casserole you made on Pinterest, post a pic of your kids as they wash the mountain of dishes stacked high on your not so clean counter. Instead of posting about your recent haul from Stuff Mart, post before and after pics of the mountain of laundry you conquered like a boss yesterday.

Rather then hiding your imperfections and trying to filter them out of your life, embrace them. One of the beauties of family is we are all different. Sure we share similarities. But our imperfections are what distinguish us from each other. Cookie cutter and plastic is boring. Those peculiarities and imperfections are what make us unique.

So your family loves to eat sauteed liver and onions once a week? So what? Eat it proudly. (Just don’t invite me over for dinner.)

Your family enjoys reading Tennyson by firelight? Read on!

Your brood would rather sleep in on Saturday than participate in sports. Snooze on, baby.

Perfect families will never exist, because perfect people will never exist. The sooner we realize that the sooner we will be free to embrace and celebrate our imperfections. Because the things that make us unique are often the glue that will help us stick together. And being closer together is exactly what the family of today needs.

 

Please note I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or lean way off topic.